Those who have owned our hearts...

Friday, August 20, 2010

Bernard 10/26/06-08/20/10


It is with a heavy heart and through a lot of tears that we say goodbye to Bernard. To the left you will see the many faces (well mostly faces) of Bernard Esteban. I have to tell you, being the furbaby of Suzette and Francis would be the dream of any bulldog. Bernard's life, albeit much too short, was wonderful. He knew so much love from so many humans and was adored both in real life as well as by his cyber family. Yes, I am counted amongst that cyber world for I never met Bernard in person. However, with Suzette's wonderful 365 days of Bernard, I felt like I knew him. And he became a part of my every day reality and a part of my heart. Rest in peace Bernard and may angels wings carry you quickly across the Rainbow Bridge. When you arrive, please say hello to all of those who have gone before you. And we humans promise to love and support your Mom & Dad as they go through this difficult time. We'll be here for them so that you can go on and be whole again. Images of you running, playing and jumping go through my mind. For my favorite picture of you is one of you leaping into the air, and this is how I will remember you. Vibrant, healthy and full of life.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


From the moment I entered into the family at BDW, I remember Grover. The gorgeous photos, the silly antics, the gorgeous toofies...how could you not fall in love? And I did. Each post, each photograph...I waited for them, looked forward to them. And when the book came out, of course, I purchased it. And on this sad day I brought the book to work with me and it is sitting on my desk. A constant reminder to send good thoughts to Julia and to pray that God will give her the strength that she will need to move forward. Gone, but NEVER forgotten. These dogs intertwine with the mesh of our hearts until they are part of us. When we lose them, we literally lose a piece of ourselves. But time does mend, I know it is cliche but it is also true.

Now, 17 months later, I can say that when I think about Malcolm, I laugh and smile. I think about the silly things he did and the love he showed. The pain of losing him is very real & still there but it is no longer the first thing my memory reaches for. Instead my memories of good times and happy times come pouring out instead. So for anyone who has recently lost a dog, give it time. The first day you won't be able to breath & it will feel as if you heart is literally collapsing on itself. But with each passing day you will become stronger. Draw from their love to take care of yourself (as the poem shared by my good friend, Michele will tell you.) But know that they will always be a part of you and every day you will think of them. What a wonderful bond we share and although it is painful to let them go so early, not one of us would trade the time we shared with them. As hard as it is to "surround ourselves with lives more temporary than our own", we will not stop doing it because what we get in return is so worth it.

Now we say goodbye to Grover, Rest in Peace! And until we meet again.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A Poem for Angel...


Gone too soon, no reason why
and did not get to say goodbye.


Your name was perfect, for you were,

an Angel here on Earth for sure.


Maybe that is why God took you home,

you were not meant so long to roam.


Back to heaven to watch from afar,

God's little perfect Angel star.


I'm so thankful that I got the privilidge to meet this beautiful and sweet girl. She really did have a way of touching your heart, and you just fell in love. Sending love and support to Cathy, James and all your fur family. Rest in peace, until we meet again.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Hard to believe it is 2009!

The strangest thing about this past New Years Eve was how reflective about Malcolm's death I was. It took me by complete surprise and really knocked me off my feet. Up to that point, I thought I was handling it pretty well. Then all the sudden on December 31st the floodgates opened and I simply broke down.

I think for me it was the realization that the year I said goodbye to my baby and the year in which I had last seen him alive, gotten to hug him, kiss his head was ending. And never again would that year be there. It was the hardest New Years Eve that I have faced yet. But I look to 2009 with great anticipation of what is to come. Of developing my relationship with Bodie and getting him into the show ring. And I say to my Malcolm, thank you! Thank you for being such a huge part of my heart and thank you for leading Bodie to me. I love my boy then, now and always but it is time to let him go. I release you my Malca-boy! No longer do you need to look after me, my love. Go and be at peace! Just remember to come visit me from time to time.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Goodbye sweet boy, we'll see you again someday


For Fabio ( ? - November 8, 2008)


In late August BCARN Georgia got a call from an SPCA facility in South Carolina asking if we had room in our program for a pitiful old man that had been roaming the streets for quite sometime. He was scheduled to be PTS since most of the facility workers thought he was aggressive. One Angel at the facility just couldn't let that happen and went in search of a rescue group that could take him. Using his own money (gas was 4.00 a gallon) he drove 5 hours to deliver Fabio. He was immediately delivered to his new foster mommy...ME. The first 4 days in rescue was like Intensive Care in mommy's kitchen. I was worried we were going to lose him after he had finally found a safe haven. I wasn't going to let that happen! In return, Fabio and I formed an extra special bond that transcended a normal dog/owner relationship. Slowly his condition improved and he turned into a loved, pampered and very spoiled senior english bulldog. He didn't have to worry where his next meal was coming from. He always had a warm, soft place to lay his head. He was well loved. We only had one more obstacle to overcome...Heartworms. His first treatment went off without a hitch and after two weeks he was adopted into his forever home. He had an older sister and a family that would love him as much as his foster family loved him. He loved his forever home and his new older sister. The second treatment went well also. 10 days after treatment, Fabio layed down to rest...and never woke. He was safe, clean, had a full tummy and a KNEW HOW IT FELT TO BE LOVED.....that's all that matters.

You will be greatly missed my sweet little man.

Ruthann

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Happy Birthday, Stevie Ray!

Your momma will always celebrate your birthday in her heart because she will always be thankful for the day that your cute little wrinkly, wriggly body entered her life. Hoping they are having a grand party for you over the rainbow bridge, handsome! And hope Malcolm is there enjoying it with you. We miss you, buddy! And your mom will always love and miss you with her whole heart!!!!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Rest in peace sweet angels!!!

There has been a lot of loss in 2008...many people keep saying "I can't wait until 2008 is over." And we on BDW have certainly had more than our fair share of losses. The grief seems like more than we can bear, but then we find ourselves moving forward. As each day passes, the denial turns to realization and eventually the "empty spot" becomes familiar. And even in this awful familiarity, there is comfort. But losing such a dear member of the family and such a huge part of your day-to-day life is never easy. Many people don't understand and so you surround yourself with wonderful friends and family who get it.

For everyone who has lost a bully over the last month, I am praying that God will give you comfort during this really dark time. But you can always take heart in the fact that your babies were truly and completely loved during their too short stay on this planet. If/when any of you are ready to add your babies story to this blog, please contact me. Sometimes celebrating their lives is very cathartic. Hugs to each of you!